(Photo: Michael Matti)
(Photo: Michael Matti)
The #MeToo movement is a horrific revelation about the prevalence of sexual abuse. As a pastor, it makes me wonder how many dark secrets are tucked away within my own church. For my own benefit, and hopefully for your benefit as well, here’s a quick 3-2-1 for consideration: 3 questions, 2 books, 1 prayer.
THREE QUESTIONS TO ANSWER
(1) “Where do I have power?”
Sexual abuse cannot succeed apart from power. The victimizer must possess, even momentarily, some measure of authority or control or influence or strength over the victim. Exhibit A: Harvey Weinstein. Exhibit B: anyone with power, which includes every one of us, at least in some of our relationships. It would serve us well to be aware of the power we hold in various contexts. Whether through the position we occupy, our credentials or reputation, our gender, age, physical size, bank account, or intellect, we need to steward the power we have over others for their good rather than for their exploitation. In what relationships do you have power? How do you wish to use your power?
(2) “What perceived gain would entice me to turn a blind eye toward sexual abuse?”
Honoring a friendship? Protecting authority? Keeping my job? Maintaining my income? Advancing the greater good? Of all I’ve read to-date, Joe Carter hits the hardest on this point. The whole article is worth reading. Here’s a relevant excerpt:
Would you be willing to turn a blind eye to accusations of sexual assault and abuse if it might benefit you in some way, either directly or indirectly?
Of course not. Unlike the denizens of Hollywood, we Christians have stringent moral standards. As servants of Christ we recognize it is our duty to protect the powerless and vulnerable from harm.
And yet . . . in the last election we had a choice between two candidates who have both contributed to the systemic abuse of women. One major party candidate had more than a dozen credible accusations of sexual misconduct against him, and had even been caught on tape bragging about sexually assaulting women. The other candidate had spent years aggressively covering up credible accusations of sexual assault and harassment against her husband, a former U.S. president. In both cases, the candidates attempted to shame the alleged victim into silence. Despite these actions, millions of Christians were willing to not only overlook the misdeeds of these politicians but were even willing to reward them by giving them the most powerful job in the world.
But that’s different, right? We had no choice but to cast a vote to support our preferred candidate, because otherwise our political enemies would have gained power. We had Supreme Court nominations on the line. We had important political concerns that could be set back for decades if the other party won. And, after all, the other side was as complicit in sexual abuse as our candidate was. We therefore shouldn’t be held responsible for making the best of a bad situation.
(3) “What steps might the church take to prevent abuse?”
From a satellite view, this question is relatively easy to answer: the church needs to speak up. It is good that we have child protection policies in place, but we also need to talk about sexual abuse, and not just on social media. We need to talk about it:
FROM OUR PULPITS — teaching the need to have new hearts in Christ; to fear the Lord; to value the image of God in others; to appropriate the promises of God in faith; to love the light more than the darkness; to bear the fruit of self-control; to love our neighbors as we love ourselves;
AROUND THE TABLE — among a band of brothers or a small group of sisters, engaging in down-to-earth, nitty-gritty, rubber-meets-the-road conversation in which we help each other keep in step with the gospel;
IN OUR HOMES — equipping our children to protect themselves and to be protectors of others;
ON OUR KNEES — asking the Father to uncover abusive situations in our church; to agitate the consciences of the guilty; to bring healing and restoration to the wounded; and to purify the hearts of us all;
WITH THE AUTHORITIES — reporting abusive situations to law enforcement without hesitation.
Admittedly, this list is pitched at a satellite view. It needs to be zoomed in and explored at the street level. Which is to say, it needs much more detail. But I believe it’s a good start at prevention.
TWO BOOKS TO READ
One book I would recommend is Making All Things New: Restoring Joy to the Sexually Broken. David Powlinson’s counsel extends not only to those who are broken due to their own sins but to those who have been broken by the sins of others. His book is uniquely beautiful in applying the gospel to both people: “Jesus, the merciful, steadily intervenes. To the indulgent, he brings forgiveness, covering perverse pleasures with new innocence. To the frightened, he brings refuge, the name that calms our fears and bids our sorrows cease. There is pleasure and protection in Christ, God’s inexpressible gift.”
Another book I would recommend is Rid of My Disgrace by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. This book is most helpful for the abused and those who care for them.
ONE PRAYER TO PRAY
Heavenly Father, our shameful record of sexual abuse shows our desperate need for you. Please bring it about that your name is honored as holy, that your kingdom in Christ explodes into our mess, and that your will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Do this especially in your church, Father. Expose our hidden sins, bring us into your light, wound us that we might be healed.
Give us today all the resources we need to live sexually faithful lives unto you.
Forgive us for our lusts, for our sinful sexual advances toward others, and for those times that we have exploited others for our own physical gratification. And, Father, with all the empowering grace of your resurrected Son and indwelling Spirit, enable us to forgive those who have harmed us sexually. Whether victims or victimizers — or both — we want to be made whole in you.
You are powerful, Father. Please use your power to keep us out of any situation in which we will be sexually tempted. Deliver us from the Evil One, who would love to see our lives ruined as sexual abusers.
Thank you for the hope you’ve given us in the gospel. We can’t wait to be in your presence, completely and gloriously renewed in your image. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Children are afraid of the dark; adults are afraid of the darkness. No longer do we tremble beneath the sheets, scared of the imaginary monster under the bed. We have matured, and so have our fears. Now we understand that monsters are real.
They have names, these monsters. They are called Unethical Boss, Pressuring Peer, Impossible Husband, Dissatisfied Wife, Ungodly Government, Angry Neighbor, Abusive Uncle. “My name is Legion, for we are many.” Our monsters are many, and scary. They are people whose favor we wish to have but don’t; they are people whose displeasure toward us is painful; they are people who pose a threat to our well-being; they are people who seek to harm us. They are people. We are afraid of people. “My name is Fear of Man, for we are many.”
King David understood the fear of man. Saul had raged against him, twice seeking to pin his body to the wall with a spear. Absalom, his own son, would betray him. Shimei cursed him. Sheba stirred up the northern tribes against him. Entire armies sought his destruction—the Philistines, the Amalekites, the Ammonites—just how many enemy encampments did David see?
How did David battle his fear? Did he do some yoga? Did he stress-eat? Did he go play golf? No. David looked at the Lord. He looked long and hard. He gazed. He sought. And what David saw dispelled the darkness of his fear and invigorated his faith.
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.
– Psalm 27:1-3
The Lord is my light! Remember the times you have been helped by light—a nightlight as a child, a campfire in the woods, a flashlight in a cave, a candle when the electricity goes out. How relieved you felt once you could see! David felt that relief as he looked at the light of the Lord. His fear vanished. Your fear will vanish too, even more so since you stand in greater brightness than David. The light of the world has shone on you. You could not be safer than you are in Jesus.
The Lord is my refuge! God is the stronghold of your life, a place of safety. In him you are secure, no matter what monstrous thing your foe may do. Even should you be killed, not a hair of your head will perish.
The Lord is my defender! Those seeking to trip you up will stumble and fall. True, they may harm you before they’re on the ground. But God will see to it that justice is done. You can be as confident as an Easter morning that evil will not have the last word in your life.
As adults we understand that our childhood fear of monsters was unnecessary. The good news in Jesus is that our grown-up fear of monsters is equally unnecessary. Not because monsters aren’t real, but because God is. You don’t have to be afraid of the darkness. Look at the Lord. Look at him.
One of my favorite performances of this song. Sy Smith is great. But the band! Are you kidding me? These guys are off-the-charts talented and super-fun to watch.
Trumpet – Chris Botti
Vocals – Sy Smith
Piano – Billy Childs
Guitar – Mark Whitfield
Bass – Robert Hurst
Drums – Billy Kilson
Orchestra – Boston Pops
Most evangelical Christians don’t need to be talked into the Trinitarian theory; they need to be shown that they are immersed in the Trinitarian reality. We need to see and feel that we are surrounded by the Trinity, compassed about on all sides by the presence and the work of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Fred Sanders, The Deep Things of God
In light of Barna Group’s latest research on Generations and Generosity, it seems like a good time to make a case for giving through the local church. What many older Christians have merely assumed needs to be clarified for younger Christians. And, for the record, I’m not picking on Millennials. Millennials appear to have a more expansive view of generosity than the older generations. But none of us, young or old, needs to be ignorant of Scripture’s encouragement to prioritize giving through the local church.
Full disclosure: I’m a pastor. What a surprise that I would tell you to support your church financially! You need to hear the reasons, though, before clicking on to something else. You shouldn’t give to your local church so that your pastor can live his best life now, or so that you can gain some sort of favor from God. Nor should you give to the church “just because.” These are bad reasons for giving. The biblical reasons are more compelling, and every Christian needs to know them.
1. You should give to support the church’s pastors.
Not every church can afford to pay their pastor(s) to serve in a full-time capacity, though aiming to do so would be a worthy goal. Regardless, a church should be eager to provide their pastor some level of financial support (1 Tim. 5:17-18). We understand this to be true not merely by inference or example but by command of the Lord (1 Cor. 9:14).
2. You should give to support the church’s ministry.
In the New Testament, we see Christians giving in order to support the ministry of the church. The practice began with the first church in Jerusalem, as offerings were brought to the apostles for distribution within the church among those who were in need (Acts 4:34-35). The practice eventually became a pattern, with some churches collecting weekly offerings on Sunday that would be used for various benevolence needs (1 Cor. 16:1-2; cf. 2 Cor. 8-9; Rom. 15:25-27).
3. You should give to support the church’s mission.
The gospel is free, but taking the gospel to all nations isn’t. Missionaries must travel, and find a place to sleep, and have food to eat. There are costs involved in fulfilling the Great Commission, and New Testament believers gave through their local church to cover the costs. They sent gospel preachers out not only with prayer and encouragement but with money that was needed to continue the work (3 John 1:7-8; cf. 2 Cor. 11:8-9).
4. You should give to support the church’s priority.
The church is the priority of God in the world. Its creation and growth and triumph is why Jesus shed his blood (Matt. 16:18; Acts 20:28). As worthy as other causes may be, none shares the same level of significance as the church.
To be clear, the New Testament doesn’t teach that you should give exclusively through your local church. The tax-collector Zacchaeus, for example, pledged to make restitution to people he had defrauded; presumably, he would have paid them directly and not through the synagogue. Or consider the parable of the Good Samaritan, whose generosity Jesus highlights, among other ways, in that the Samaritan pays for a wounded man’s medical care and lodging out of his own pocket. So, no, your giving doesn’t have to be restricted to the local church. There are many good causes to which you might contribute in the name of Christ, such as your local crisis pregnancy center, child sponsorship, an after-school program, a parachurch ministry, disaster relief efforts, a roadside beggar (Matt. 6:2), and more.
That being said, while not teaching that you should give only through your local church, the New Testament suggests that you should give mainly through your local church. The local church is the priority of God in the world, and its pastors, ministry, and mission are worthy of your generous and cheerful support.